So Kill Me.

I haven't done anything wrong.

The only thing I've done wrong is to cry.

And believe me, I wouldn't if I had a choice.

The simple life

Sometimes I wish for a bigger house, better shoes, more bags, brighter eyes, sharper nose, longer legs, and straighter hair. Sometimes I wish for a perfect family, to have a puppy that wouldn't grow up, and a job that I like.

It's very easy when I say I just want things to be simple. That's it. It's not that hard. Just don't expect too much, say no more than necessary, earn enough money to buy the food you want to eat, shoes you want to wear, clothes you think you need but you don't, hang out with the people who will make you laugh, share your dreams, and listen to your problems, not think about things that will pull you down, go where you want to go, and be happy for other people who are happy.

But as things always turn out to be not the way you want it to be, I guess all of the above can't be done. Not perfectly anyway.

You want a job, you get a job. But then you complain about how bad it is on a day when you've got a lot of work to do. And then say how bored it is when there is nothing to do. Your employers bring you out for lunch, and you complain about how hot it is where they're bringing you.

You say you have not enough money. But you buy expensive food, countless DVDs, say hey, I need that pair of shoes, when you've already got a gazillion pairs at home growing roots.

We don't get enough. We never do.

And then we complain about how sucky our lives are. Then we compare.

Still not enough.

When we're busy, we complain we don't have enough time to do things. When we have nothing to do, we start gossiping about other people. About why Mr X's wife's son's friend's cousin's father's friend is going out with Mrs Y's daughter's friend's friend. About why other people cannot contribute a little money when all they do is eat and eat and eat. About why someone is so stupid because he doesn't do things just as you do. About why some people are the way that they are. Why why why why why why why.......

And because you don't have the answer, you make an answer. And you make that answer so believable with your own speculations that even you yourself believe that that is the answer.

When that happens, well, even if the truth whacks you right in the face you wouldn't be able to see it.

Just because things are as it is as you see it, doesn't mean that it is. It means that you don't know, and you should stop talking about it, stop being judgmental about everything that you think is right, and just piss off.

I think I'm a very angry person. Yeah. I think that's it.

Ever notice that my first sentence never really clicks with my last? And my headings don't make sense.

Oh well.

x

Gargh

So I realised that in this one and a half months that I haven't been updating myself, lots of things have changed.

THe Malaysian way of doing things have changed. They have now resorted to killing innocent people from back in the days when they used to hold illegal assemblies under big rain trees (and then had a big debate over whether or not to chop down that tree)

I have to say, we've come a long way. From not wanting to make English a compulsory subject, to reverting back to a language only one country knows how to speak. I am sorely disappointed.(and so is our former PM)

Another thing that's changed is my perception of uh, how do you put it, authorities? Let's just say some people. A man gets stabbed by wife for having an affair. And the official statement is "we believe he got stabbed out of jealousy". Brilliant.

I've finally got a new door to my room.

And I can close my bathroom door without fear of being locked inside.

Some things however, never change.

Like how I'm still in debt for instance.

And how I still crave for Korean BBQ every now and then.

I still can't see my work table, and I can't find my pass card every time I need the loo.

And I blog whenever I have some very important thing to do.