So Kill Me 2.

YOu know you always have this fuzzy image of things that you want to happen before it happens.

Like for instance when you're packed neck-up with work but you still find those few seconds to think about that smile you will see when you finally get rid of that stack of papers staring at you;

Or when you think about how nice it would be like to have someone comfort you after a crazy hectic day;

Or how you can steal just five minutes thinking about how a perfect life would be, no worries, no fights, no moments when you feel like you've regretted the decisions you've made your entire life...

And then reality just whacks you in the face and you wake up. And you realise it's not going to happen, and feel so helpless at that moment in time.

But still I believe we humans (females) are not made to be weak. If it's such a mistake to want to rely on someone for whatever it is that you want to rely on, then hey, we've got our own two feet AND we've still got our brains. Even though all our smiley cells are smashed into pieces by that menacing aura that you're protruding.

At work

So I was looking through my blog, again. and figured I had nothing else to write about! Maybe it's because my life is super boring, and it's become so monotonous that there is really nothing new to write about.

I did start this blog out so I could rant my brains out instead of keeping it all inside of me and then grabbing some random guy's neck and yelling my lungs out because I feel like it.

But heyyy, I guess I'm not such an angry person anymore! (is that a good thing?)

I am still complaining.

About how boring my life is.

Even though I've got a superb job that pays shitloads better than the other firms.

I still can't go out shopping without feeling a tad bit guilty!!!! I know i know, I've got enough stuff to last me a lifetime. But that won't be called shopping if I'm going to buy something i need right??? That'd be groceries shopping, or some emergency shopping trip. Like how I ripped my trousers trying to get into my car. damn. Ok let's forget about that.

Mum still peeks at my stuff and goes "Is that a new bag?" or "Why do you need so many bottles of stuff to put on your face? I only use half a bottle!"

Or when my dude opens the door and trips over my shopping bag, opens it and exclaims "OMG. HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DO YOU NEED???" while I'm trying very hard to shove my other new pair of shoes into the room before he finds it (yes it is getting a bit crowded).

Or when I meet my sister at church and she whispers (while the priest is talking in front) "is that a new bag? how much is it? I WANTTTTTTTTTTT!"

Then one fine day I'll think that I've got too much stuff with no more storage space, and lug two big bin bags to the charity drop off point. (which is due last year)

How'd I end up talking about my stuff?

OH man. I've got another half an hour till the bell rings.

Let's see what I've accomplished today:

1. Used 4hrs14mins09sec0987millisec to do my work

2. Took 10mins to microwave lunch

3. Found out the actual meaning of "astringent"

4. Got my sister hooked to a lingerie warehouse sale

5. Read 3 blogs and a magazine

6. Calculated how much I've overspent last month (it's not pretty)

7. Googled wedding gift ideas

8. Read the news a hundred times.

9. Checked my bank account a gazillion times, hoping that my money will increase by the second.

Wow. an accomplishment.

I need not say more.