It's about time for a lengthy rant.
So where am I now?
I shall call it limbo.
So many things have happened in the past year I've lost count of it. Lost count. Not don't remember. Oh, I remember every single detail. From the happiest to the most devastating.
And it was ALMOST wrapped up by the end of the year.
But NOOooo....Shit has to happen. There has to be never-ending drama in my life. Well, since 2008. (not that long ago you might say but HEY! This is MY blog, piss off)
I sound angry? Oh if you knew you'd forgive me for being so.
So. 2008 was supposed to be this uh prosperous, lucky year for love and career. YEAH. right.
Okay, so things took a twist in the beginning. We fall in love, we find new friends, we meet up with old ones, we break up with those that didn't fit, we fell out with people we knew for years...yada yada...
Yeap. That all happened in the first half year. (and I thought it was worth every single cell in my body)
So, second half: We've been cheated on, we found out the entire truth (which hurts to the marrow), we found new hobbies, we grew stronger, we had unecessary problems cropping up and ta-daa...I'm still alive.
Question: What would you do when the person you loved the most, dedicated (wanted to) your entire life to, trusted with your soul, forgoed everything that matters most...cheated on you, lied to you (not just to your ass but right into your face as well), and you only found out...TODAY.
Let's just say for argument purposes that it's been going on for a year.
You'd flip right? Threaten to kill yourself? Oh no, wait. Kill him? no no. Kill yourself just so he will suffer. yeah. sounds about right.
No?
No. I'll tell you what. You'll cry for a day. And then decide you're made for things better than this. Life's lessons are to be learnt. There are no coincidences. Only lessons. So you pick yourself up, dust it all off and hopefully it will go away.
But it doesn't.
It doesn't happen that way.
These things will haunt you for the rest of your life.
Especially when bitches never give up and persist in their daily routine of torturing other souls by begging for sympathy.
Please. Get.a.life. It's over.
Yes I'm mean. And if I see you, you better run.
So one day we turn into this person we don't really know. We want to turn back time to be that person again. But really, after all these you think it's possible?
When you're happy, you don't think of these stuff. Then once in a while, gravity pulls you back to earth, where reality wraps you in the head and just sticks there like a post-it. A pretty huge one.
We say to ourselves, there are bigger problems in the world. It doesn't make sense harping over some minisque issue like this. Life goes on. If we fall, we've only got our past to look back on and continue moving on forward. But boy, if there were a rewind button, I'd gladly take it.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
ARgH
ARRRrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghHHhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
I try and try and try.
I put everyone aside so that you would appear. Still no sign.
I line up a red carpet for you, you still refuse to come out.
Why is it so hard??? whY???!
Why is it so hard to win spider solitare?
I can't find the red ace.
*sobs*
Haircut
I had a HORRIBLE haircut
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What? Need I say more?
What's that? You want pictures? HAH. You've got to catch me first.
Just because...
Just because I don't say anything, doesn't mean I don't think about it.
Just because you think it's right for me, doesn't mean it is.
Just because you're a sadistic bitch, does not mean I have to be one as well.
Just because you think your life is hell, does not mean you have to make others suffer too.
Just because I look at you with a smile, doesn't mean I like you.
Just because you think you're doing the right thing, does not mean everyone will appreciate it.
Just because you're sitting in a bigger chair, does not mean you're smarter.
Just because I walk into your shop in t-shirt and jeans, does not mean I cannot afford your goods. (Oh wait. you're just a salesman. Can YOU afford it?)
Just because you can drink, doesn't mean you're cool. Just so you know, a million others can drink better than you.
Just because you're popular, does not mean that we (I) have to love you.
Just because people treat you differently, doesn't mean that you're not special. (They're just assholes)
Just because people stay back late to work, does not mean they're working. (Hello, are you blind? You really want them to work? Take off the internet connection after 6!)
Just because I blog, does not mean I want to. Its because facebook is blocked.
Just because you think it's right for me, doesn't mean it is.
Just because you're a sadistic bitch, does not mean I have to be one as well.
Just because you think your life is hell, does not mean you have to make others suffer too.
Just because I look at you with a smile, doesn't mean I like you.
Just because you think you're doing the right thing, does not mean everyone will appreciate it.
Just because you're sitting in a bigger chair, does not mean you're smarter.
Just because I walk into your shop in t-shirt and jeans, does not mean I cannot afford your goods. (Oh wait. you're just a salesman. Can YOU afford it?)
Just because you can drink, doesn't mean you're cool. Just so you know, a million others can drink better than you.
Just because you're popular, does not mean that we (I) have to love you.
Just because people treat you differently, doesn't mean that you're not special. (They're just assholes)
Just because people stay back late to work, does not mean they're working. (Hello, are you blind? You really want them to work? Take off the internet connection after 6!)
Just because I blog, does not mean I want to. Its because facebook is blocked.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
LESSONS I'VE LEARNT
1. If you're nice, people use you
Simple, yet true. It’s amazing how you read in the papers and scoff at people who have been conned out of their life savings or getting robbed trying to help others. We can’t deny the fact that it’s true. If you’re too nice, they say you’re faking it. If you’re being honest by saying you don’t know how something works, they say you’re stupid. You listen to them, ah, this is where it gets all interesting and juicy. If you’ve always been the nice, obedient, silent one, (by silent I mean you don’t talk back. Yes, I mean parents), well, they expect you to be nice, obedient and silent. And they think whatever they say must be obeyed. So yes, they do drastic things like trying to split the rent so that you don’t sub-let it out (WTF?!) and oh, losing their dignity and calling some total stranger’s parents to ask them to ask their children to move out etc etc. So I ask, why the double standard? Why that treatment for me, and yet my sister gets whatever she wants in the exact same circumstances? Right, here’s where the golden answer comes in. Cause she might do something silly if she’s being told off. I mean, WTF x ∞ ???! So, lesson learnt kids: For you to get your way, try committing suicide at a young age (a few times recommended) and don’t forget to let them know that you tried.
Well, I think it’s a bit too late for me to start now. But who knows?
2. Malaysia's going backwards.
Here's proof:
Top stories around the world
US: Historic Inauguration- Barack Obama is 44th President of the United States.
China: Fighting Bird Flu
Europe: Russian gas reaches Europe again via Ukraine
Kuwait: Palestinian president calls for unity government
Australia: Fisherman saved off Australia after 25 days at sea
Malaysia: PAS plans to stop Rihanna concert. WTF??!
3. Love isn't overrated.
You say, dump him, screw him, forget him and pick yourself up, you'll do better without him, you'll be okay, he's not worth it, you're stupid for even trying, you're an idiot for waiting, he's using you, you're blind, he's not meant for you, he's not good enough for you, you can do better than this. And then you end with a 'i don't know why you do this to yourself'.
I'll tell you why.
Because there's more to it than meets the eye. You've been through so much together it won't make any sense just to throw it away. You hope that things will change for the better. Yes, we know that he's lied to your face a million times, he's covered up so many stories you've lost count. But we, the female gender, are blessed with the most spongiest brains and the strongest hearts. We remember every single detail. Every tiny one. We hate you for lying, there's no doubt about that. But we still love you. Love is by far the strongest tool (to build and destroy). Yes of course we will get hurt. But we are stronger than what you think. We don't lash out at poeple like guys do, we deal with it inside, we cry ourselves to sleep, we beat ourselves up for being so stupid, we drink ourselves to death (in the loo) so that we might at least get some sleep.
And the next morning, you wake up and wonder why the **** did you even bother crying for him. And you let your heart mend and you vow never again to cry like that ever again. But it happens again and the cycle begins.
It will continue until that flicker of hope that things will finally go your way, dies.
Not to worry, it won't go on for long. Either things will really change, or there will come a time where you won't take any of this shit anymore.
Then you'd wish you'd never been born.
Wait. I'm ranting away.
I'll tell you why. Again.
1. You love him.
2. You smile when you see him.
3. He gets your jokes.
4. He knows what ticks you off.
5. He knows how to make himself look stupid just to make you laugh.
6. When you're ranting on about someone he doesn't even know about he'll get even more pissed off at that person just to show how much he loves you.
7. He picks you up for lunch and drives you home from work.
8. He loves your dog because you do.
9. He calls just to say hi.
10. You look at him and he'll know what you're thinking.
11. He carries your shopping.
12. He forces you to drink water when you're sick even though you hate it.
13. He laughs at you for getting sick.
14. He tucks you into bed and hugs you throughout the night, and in the morning, you smile when you wake up seeing his ruffled hair looking all scruffy and silly.
And it makes it all worthwhile.
4. The quietest ones thinks the most.
We don't talk so much. Hence we've got the time to think. DUH.
Simple, yet true. It’s amazing how you read in the papers and scoff at people who have been conned out of their life savings or getting robbed trying to help others. We can’t deny the fact that it’s true. If you’re too nice, they say you’re faking it. If you’re being honest by saying you don’t know how something works, they say you’re stupid. You listen to them, ah, this is where it gets all interesting and juicy. If you’ve always been the nice, obedient, silent one, (by silent I mean you don’t talk back. Yes, I mean parents), well, they expect you to be nice, obedient and silent. And they think whatever they say must be obeyed. So yes, they do drastic things like trying to split the rent so that you don’t sub-let it out (WTF?!) and oh, losing their dignity and calling some total stranger’s parents to ask them to ask their children to move out etc etc. So I ask, why the double standard? Why that treatment for me, and yet my sister gets whatever she wants in the exact same circumstances? Right, here’s where the golden answer comes in. Cause she might do something silly if she’s being told off. I mean, WTF x ∞ ???! So, lesson learnt kids: For you to get your way, try committing suicide at a young age (a few times recommended) and don’t forget to let them know that you tried.
Well, I think it’s a bit too late for me to start now. But who knows?
2. Malaysia's going backwards.
Here's proof:
Top stories around the world
US: Historic Inauguration- Barack Obama is 44th President of the United States.
China: Fighting Bird Flu
Europe: Russian gas reaches Europe again via Ukraine
Kuwait: Palestinian president calls for unity government
Australia: Fisherman saved off Australia after 25 days at sea
Malaysia: PAS plans to stop Rihanna concert. WTF??!
3. Love isn't overrated.
You say, dump him, screw him, forget him and pick yourself up, you'll do better without him, you'll be okay, he's not worth it, you're stupid for even trying, you're an idiot for waiting, he's using you, you're blind, he's not meant for you, he's not good enough for you, you can do better than this. And then you end with a 'i don't know why you do this to yourself'.
I'll tell you why.
Because there's more to it than meets the eye. You've been through so much together it won't make any sense just to throw it away. You hope that things will change for the better. Yes, we know that he's lied to your face a million times, he's covered up so many stories you've lost count. But we, the female gender, are blessed with the most spongiest brains and the strongest hearts. We remember every single detail. Every tiny one. We hate you for lying, there's no doubt about that. But we still love you. Love is by far the strongest tool (to build and destroy). Yes of course we will get hurt. But we are stronger than what you think. We don't lash out at poeple like guys do, we deal with it inside, we cry ourselves to sleep, we beat ourselves up for being so stupid, we drink ourselves to death (in the loo) so that we might at least get some sleep.
And the next morning, you wake up and wonder why the **** did you even bother crying for him. And you let your heart mend and you vow never again to cry like that ever again. But it happens again and the cycle begins.
It will continue until that flicker of hope that things will finally go your way, dies.
Not to worry, it won't go on for long. Either things will really change, or there will come a time where you won't take any of this shit anymore.
Then you'd wish you'd never been born.
Wait. I'm ranting away.
I'll tell you why. Again.
1. You love him.
2. You smile when you see him.
3. He gets your jokes.
4. He knows what ticks you off.
5. He knows how to make himself look stupid just to make you laugh.
6. When you're ranting on about someone he doesn't even know about he'll get even more pissed off at that person just to show how much he loves you.
7. He picks you up for lunch and drives you home from work.
8. He loves your dog because you do.
9. He calls just to say hi.
10. You look at him and he'll know what you're thinking.
11. He carries your shopping.
12. He forces you to drink water when you're sick even though you hate it.
13. He laughs at you for getting sick.
14. He tucks you into bed and hugs you throughout the night, and in the morning, you smile when you wake up seeing his ruffled hair looking all scruffy and silly.
And it makes it all worthwhile.
4. The quietest ones thinks the most.
We don't talk so much. Hence we've got the time to think. DUH.
Bored.
I'm bored out of my wits. And so here I am blogging the afternoon away.
This will be no exciting blog. If you're here to find out about my life, uh, you won't get it. Well maybe just a bit. For times when I feel like bitching, you will. On other days, its just plain bitching.
This will be no exciting blog. If you're here to find out about my life, uh, you won't get it. Well maybe just a bit. For times when I feel like bitching, you will. On other days, its just plain bitching.
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